Memories of Home
by OuatDH
Summary: Trailer : https:/youtu.be/rK5NCDXDwRE Emma and Regina are living happily with their son Henry, until Emma is sent of to serve in the Army for six months. We follow Regina and Emma’s letters and the memories they have of eachother. Memories of the home they define together.
1. Grilled Cheese

**Memories of Home**

No curse.

Rated M for later chapters.

SwanQueen

TriggerWarning! (War and death)

**Grilled Cheese**

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_Dear Regina._

_I miss you so much. Yesterday my camp was attacked by the locals. We lost two people. I should feel sad, I know, but I just don't. We see horrible things everyday, and the sadness just becomes such a normal feeling that you just don't react to it anymore. I don't feel anything. Not sadness nor happiness. I just feel like a name on a paper amongst thousand of others, who is here to serve too._

_Every night I cross a day of my calendar. I wish I could just cross all days out and go home, but I still have 2 months left. _

_I thought it would be easier by now. That I wouldn't miss home so much. But I do. It's the only feeling I still really feel. It tries to pull me home but can't. _

_It's the most ridiculous things you start to miss here. I would do anything for a grilled cheese sandwich. It's sounds stupid, but I think it's because it reminds me of home. Of you. _

_How are you and Henry doing? I think about you two every second here..._

_I love you. _

_Emma. _

Regina folded the letter. She whipped a tear away from her cheek and took a deep breath. She missed Emma so much, and she hated that Emma felt the same way. She missed Emma and her funny remarks. Like the grilled cheese sandwich.

It reminded Regina of the night Emma left...

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Everyone tried to make the atmosphere normal and jolly at Granny's, but it was hard. It was like a beast had awakened and stood right before you, and even though you closed your eyes, you could still hear it's breath, it's growling. You could still fell yellow eyes staring at you.

Everyone was there. Everyone Emma cared for, everyone who made Emma define this town as home. Granny had made a lot of delicious food, but Emma was just sitting with two grilled cheese sandwiches on her paper plate.

"Don't you want anything else Emma?" Regina asked and pierced some saladleafs with her plastic fork. "No. This is great!" Emma said and took a big bite of her grilled cheese. It made Regina smile. Emma was so simple.

People started eating their food, and a silence roamed at the diner. Emma was half way through her grilled cheese when she looked up. Everyone was looking at their food, and occasionally someone would glance at her.

Emma didn't say anything but looked to Regina who had noticed it too. Regina laid down her fork and stood up. "This is not a funeral. We are not doing this to say goodbye. We are doing this to give Emma a good day and a good memory she can carry with her on her journey. A memory she can carry for the six months she is away. And then we will meet here again to welcome her home."

Regina looked around into people's eyes, and confirmed that people had gotten the message. Then she sat down again. Emma gave a small smile at Regina and whispered: "Thank you." People started speaking again and soon people were laughing and smiling.

Emma's mother Mary Magret got up and held her glass high. "Too Emma!" She said and glasses clinked together through the room. A short silence filled the room before people where talking again.

Suddenly all voices started to echo in Emma's head. She couldn't understand a word, as she looked around at the faces. A panic started to grow from her stomach. It all became to real, first in this moment she understood that she was going away.

Emma got up and rushed to the bathroom. Everyone looked up and saw her leave and then looked to Regina who got up and followed. Everyone then looked at each other with a pained look.

Regina found Emma who was bend over the sink, leaning on her arms and starring down the drain. "Emma..." Regina said and laid a soft hand on Emma's shoulders. Emma turned around and hugged Regina tightly. Regina closed her eyes and cherished the feeling of Emma right there. Right where she could reach her.

"I don't want to leave." Emma said with tears running down her cheeks. Regina exhaled deeply. She didn't know how to respond. Emma pulled out of the hug and looked at Regina. "I'm going to miss you so much." Emma said.

Regina nodded and looked down at the floor. Tears started running down her cheeks as she whispered: "I'm going to miss you too. But we can do this. In six months you will be right here again." Regina said and then leaned in and kissed Emma softly.

Emma nodded and took a deep breath. Then she walked with Regina out of the bathroom. Henry got up and walked towards Emma with a box wrapped in red shiny paper. "What's this?" Emma asked and looked at Regina, who shrug her shoulders.

Emma opened it. It was a photo album with pictures of Emma, Henry and Regina. Emma leaned down and gave a Henry a long tight hug. "Thank you so much!" She said and got up. She looked around at the smiling faces. She tried to take in the moment, hold on to it so she could keep it for the dark days to come.


	2. Cinnamon

Memories of Home

No curse.

Sex in this chapter.

SwanQueen

TriggerWarning! (War and death)

**Cinnamon**

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_Dear Emma._

_I miss you too. Henry and I are doing great under the circumstances, but I know he misses you a lot too. A couple of weeks ago he started wanting everything with cinnamon. He drank a lot of hot cocoa with cinnamon and whipped cream, asked me if I could make my apple pie with extra cinnamon, and asking me too make French toast with cinnamon in the morning. I didn't understand it, I just saw it as emotional eating so I asked him about it. He wanted things with cinnamon because it reminded him of you. He said it felt like you where there when he tasted it. _

_He is such a good boy. He still manages to get amazing grades in school, even though you take up a lot of space in his mind. We cross of days in our calendar too! Henry loves to count down, and is happy too that we are getting closer. I just fell like time is getting slower. Every single second fells like hours without you. _

_How was your birthday? Did you get our card and present?_

_Love you. _

_Regina._

Emma laid the letter down on her table. It was nice to hear from them, but it was like it was fueling her desire to go home. She poured herself a cup of black coffee. She looked into it before getting a little salt shaker from her bag. She had poured out the salt and filled it with cinnamon.

She dashed some cinnamon into her coffee. Now she could be reminded of Henry too through their obsession about cinnamon. A obsession Regina didn't follow. She liked cinnamon, but she didn't love it like Emma and Henry.

It reminded Emma of their wedding...

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Emma and Regina had been fighting two days before their wedding. They had agreed to make it simple, but Regina really wanted a big wedding cake. They had been talking too a baker about different cakes.

After the baker had introduced each cake Emma said: "This would be amazing with some cinnamon though." Regina had grown more and more irritated by it and ended up leaving Emma at the baker. Emma had followed her.

"Seriously, I just want a traditional simple wedding cake, and you want this devilish spice in it! Not everyone loves cinnamon!" Regina had yelled at the blonde who had caught up to her. "Hey I'm sorry. I just like cinnamon." Emma said with a quirky smile, which faded by Regina's sharp angry glance.

"Fine! No cinnamon!" Emma said and shrugged her shoulders. Regina had nodded and they had returned to the baker and found the perfect cake, without any trace of cinnamon.

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The big day had arrived. Emma had been followed the alter by her father David. She stood there alone in her long white shoulder less dress and red lipstick. The big doors in the church closed just to be opened again.

Henry walked besides Regina. He was wearing a black and white tuxedo, Regina was wearing a creamcolored short wedding dress in a lace material. Henry followed Regina to the alter, and then he took his place besides David.

Emma and Regina gazed into each other's eyes, and barely heard anything the priest was saying. They just stood there, saw the love and happiness in each others eyes. They were brought out of their gaze when it was time to exchange their vowels.

"Emma, when I first meet you, I couldn't wait for you to leave again. I felt I had everything, and that you were trying to take it away. But now, I never want you to leave. You weren't trying to take anything. You were trying to give me something I had told myself I didn't need. You wanted to give me love. Someone to share my life with. I'm happy that you was so annoyingly stubborn and wouldn't leave. I can't wait to share every second of my life with you."

Emma dried a tear away from her cheek. Regina's words were sweet. The priest looked to Emma who pulled herself together and took a deep breath. Then she started speaking.

"Regina, when I first saw you, I was scarred. You were intimidating. I wasn't used to such a strong woman, and it made me really stubborn. And childish. I hadn't been here for a day before I cut a branch of your apple tree. But to be fair you framed me for stealing. But when I stopped fighting you and listened to you, I saw your true colors. And I couldn't be more happy to see them every day from now on."

Regina smiled and looked down. The priest asked both women the life changing question, and they both replied "I do." They shared a long kiss, and walked out together hand in hand.

Everyone had settled at Granny's when the wedding cake was placed on a table. Everyone admired it and Regina's smile couldn't have been bigger. Then Granny places two apple pies on each side of the cake, which made Emma furrow her brows.

Regina turned to Emma. "Apple pies with extra cinnamon for you and the cinnamon enthusiasts." Regina said with a small loving laugh. Emma smile and gave Regina a short kiss. Then they went up to cut the big cake together.

——————————————

The clock was way past twelve when the last people left. Emma's parents has taken Henry home with them, and now Regina and Emma was driving home in the yellow bug. The walked hand in hand up to their home, and Regina unlocked the door.

Without warning Emma lifted Regina up and carried her inside. Regina smiled as Emma sat her down. They locked the front door and ran upstairs like to teenagers with their first love. They barely got into the bedroom before they where throwing their dresses onto the floor.

Emma looked down herself. She was wearing a black thong and no bra. Then she looked at Regina who was wearing white sexy lingerie. Emma felt very underdressed but Regina didn't seemed to mind.

They shared a heavy kiss as they moved towards the bed and fell down upon it. Emma started removing Regina's lingerie with a soft hand, and then she removed her own thong. Emma was on top of Regina, and they kissed while their lustful bodies touched each other.

Emma slowly moved down on Regina's body with curious hands and warm kisses. Emma reached Regina's lower stomach and Regina held her breath, awaiting Emma's next moving. Emma pushed herself further down, and started kissing her way up Regina's inner thigh.

Regina held her breath until Emma reached her sex, and a soft tongue ran through her folds. She exhaled deeply and enjoyed the sensation. Emma placed her hands on Regina's inner thighs, as her tongue found her clit.

Regina leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Emma flicked her tongue and ran over the clit and felt Regina's juices almost dripping from her. Regina places a soft hand on Emma's head, and tangled her fingers into the blonde hair.

Emma slowly moved a hand up Regina's inner thigh, and soon her finger was slowly pressing inside Regina. She was tight, but her juices helped Emma slide back and forth with a curled finger, reaching for the right spot. She reached it.

A moment after Regina whispered with a highpitched voice: "More..." Emma barely heard it, but knew what Regina wanted. She added another finger and shortly after she started raising the pace. Her tongue was still at it at Regina's clit.

Regina's body started twitching and following Emma's trusts. Before Regina could realize it, she cramped around Emma's fingers and she moaned and screamed out her orgasm, as Emma continued. When Regina was done, Emma slowed down and stopped.

Emma didn't get to say anything before Regina had sat up and started kissing her heavily. Emmas hand ran down Regina's sides and made Regina shiver, but then Regina pushed Emma's hands of and broke the kiss. "My turn." Regina demanded.

Regina got up from the bed and pulled Emma by the legs to the edge of the bed. Regina got down on her knees, so Emma's sex was right in front of her face. Regina didn't waste a moment, and started licking Emma's clit.

Emma was already wet from the earlier activities, and Regina could almost immediately slide a finger into her. Emma's legs tensed up as she slowly moaned. In first try Regina found Emma's golden spot, and Emma's feet twitched.

Regina added another finger and repeated the movement, as her tongue was licking and flicking. Soon she could feel Emma getting close to orgasm. She knew Emma's body and the signs. She immediately stopped licking and pulled her fingers out.

Emma sat up instantly and yelled: "What the hell!" Regina just shushed Emma and started licking Emma's clit slowly again. Emma's body was tense from the orgasm-denial, but soon melted into Regina's soft tongue again. Two fingers was slowly added, and Regina raised the pace again.

Emma's brain was cloudy of satisfaction, but she was also frustrated and afraid that Regina would do the same again. Emma could only think about cumming, and she wanted it even more now than before.

She felt the orgasm approaching again, as a wave climbing higher and higher in her body, reaching for the shore. Then it happened. Her body erupted in satisfaction and she moaned: "Regina!" The orgasm started evaporating from Emma's body, but Regina kept going.

Before Emma knew it, a second orgasm roared through her body. This time Regina slowed down and stopped. Emma caught her breath and looked down at Regina.

"You are freakin mad!" Emma said and Regina smiled. The both climbed under the covers and cuddled together. Their bodies were still warm and sweaty as the closed their eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	3. Suprises

**Memories of Home **

No curse.

Rated M for later chapters.

SwanQueen

TriggerWarning! (War and death)

**Surprises**

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_Dear Regina._

_I got you gift and card! Thank you so much! I had a great birthday, every one pretended to not know about it, and suddenly at dinner everybody sang happy birthday to me. It was a great surprise. You would probably have hated it. I know you hate surprises. _

_Was the gift Henry's idea? I know he is as obsessed with the ugly duckling as I am. I flip through the book every night, remembering that everything can have a happy ending. Even this. It helps a lot. _

_Yesterday we were going to evacuate a small town. They had helped us a lot, but we knew that it got them in trouble. We were to late. It's horrible. But you kind of get immune to the horrific sight of a village ripped appart. People laying around, dead. I hate that it is such a normal sight for me. I can't wait to get away from it. _

_Love you._

_Emma _

Regina folded the letter and laid it with the others. She tried to imaging how a slaughtered village would look, but her mind couldn't grasp it. It must have been horrible. She was happy that Emma had been surprised and celebrated, but as Emma said, Regina would have hated it.

It reminded her of the day Emma proposed...

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Regina was doing the laundry. She walked through the foyer with a basket filled with dirty close as her eye was caught by Emma's winter jacket. It was getting colder, maybe it would be smart to wash it now so it would be ready for winter.

Regina took it and went to her laundry room. She threw the clothes in and then turned to the jacket. She reached her hand into the right pocket. It came out with some old recites. Regina rolled her eyes. Emma always had a lot of random junk in her pockets.

She reached her hand into the other pocket. Her fingers felt a small box, it felt like velvet. She furrowed her brows and pulled it out. Before realizing what it was she opened it and saw a silver diamond ring.

Regina dropped the jacket and got upstairs where Emma was still sleeping in. "What the hell is this?" Regina asked as she stood at the foot of the bed. Emma woke up and grunted. "What is what?" She asked and sat up in the bed.

Her eyes opened wide when she saw the box in Regina's hand. "Ohh..." Emma said as Regina threw the box on the bed. "We haven't even talked about marriage yet!" Regina said and crossed her arms.

Emma picked up the box and was about to say something, but Regina continued. "Marriage is not one sided! It is a thing you agree on!" Emma rolled her eyes. "That's what you ask when you propose! Come on, it was suppose to be a surprise!"

Regina sat down at the edge of the bed and looked at Emma with a guilty expression. "I'm sorry. I just don't do well with surprises." Emma got up from the bed only wearing a t-shirt and a thong. She stood before Regina and said: "Okay. Now I'm going to propose to you."

She got down on one knee before Regina and opened the box. "Regina Mills. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" Regina rolled her eyes and took the ring from the box. She placed it on her ring finger and said: "Of course I will."

Emma got up again and leaned forward and kissed Regina softly. "See that wasn't so horrible?" Emma said and gave a small laugh. "What was the original proposing plan?" Regina said and smirked. Emma shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe it was a stroll through the park in the cold dark evening, and all our family and friends lighting a path with candles. Maybe it lead to were we first exchanged I love you's. I don't know." Emma said. "How romantic..." Regina said and smiled. Emma nodded.

"I'm sorry I had to ruin the surprise..." Regina continued with some guild still rasping in her voice. "Hey, the important thing was I got a yes..." Emma said and smiled. Regina still felt a little guilty, but she just smiled and nodded.

"So, tough question, Swan or Mills?" Regina asked and Emma froze. "Uhm, Mills?" She said and gave a nervous smile. "Definitely Swan." Regina said. She made it sound like the judge had just hammered and it was the final verdict.

Emma rolled her eyes. "Okay, Mills-Swan." She said and tried to make her words as powerful as Regina's. "That sounds stupid. Swan, or Swan-Mills." Emma threw her neck back like a stubborn child and said: "Fine... It's just a name..."

Regina nodded. "Yes, Mrs. Swan-Mills." Emma smiled. "Okay that sounds kind of good." Regina smiled and stood up. She kissed Emma softly and then looked Emma up and down. "What are you thinking?" Emma said with a sensual voice. "That Mrs. Swan-Mills needs a shower..." Regina said and smirked.


	4. Red Jacket

**Memories of Home **

No curse.

Rated M for later chapters.

SwanQueen

TriggerWarning! (War and death)

**Red Jacket **

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_Dear Emma._

_I'm glad you had a great birthday, even though we couldn't be there. And yes, the book was Henry's idea. He has taken your Swan-keychain and put it with his keys, so it is close. I think he likes the idea of carrying a piece of you around with him, maybe you don't seem so far away when he does it. I can't even look at your stuff. It reminds me of you, where you are. _

_Every morning I open my closet, and the first thing that catches my eyes is your red jacket. It just stares right at me. It brings me closer to you. I can picture you, almost hear your voice. As soon as I close the closet you disappear again. _

_I could stand there and stare at it for hours. But the longer I look at it, the greater pain I feel when I close the door. So i try not to. I just wish you were here._

_Love you. _

_Regina _

Emma laid the letter with the others, and starred into the air. She missed Regina too, and it pained her that it brought both of them misery. She had been a little naive and hoped that Regina didn't miss her too much, but of course she did. Just as Emma missed her.

She knew the pain Regina felt when she closed the closet door. Emma felt the exact same way every time she closed the photo album Henry has given her. Emma gave a faint smile thinking about the red jacket.

It reminded her of the day she moved in...

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All of Emma's stuff stood in boxes around the house. It had been for a couple of days now, and Emma carefully opened the first one in the bedroom. The first thing she saw was her red jacket. She took it up and looked at it.

It was a great part of her, but she was happy she didn't wear it so often anymore. She didn't need her armor. She felt safe and happy. She didn't need her walls anymore, they had crumbled and on the other side was Regina.

Emma took a coat hanger from the closet and hung the jacket on it. Then she placed besides Regina's clothes, just as Regina walked in. "What are you doing?" Regina asked with a monotone voice. Emma turned around with a smile and said: "I'm unpacking."

Regina walked up besides Emma and saw the red jacket in her closet. Regina grabbed it and pulled it of the coat hanger. "Hey?" Emma said and looked confused at Regina. "Sorry, I just have a system. Everything has its place."

Emma raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "Where do you want my clothes then?" Regina folded the jacket and laid it on top of one of the boxes. "I don't know." Regina answered. Emma stared at Regina who just shrugged her shoulders.

Emma was about to say something, probably something she would regret, so she didn't. She took her red jacket, put it on and stormed downstairs. A little later Regina heard the front door slam and she looked out the window to see Emma walking away from the house.

Regina looked around at the boxes. So much stuff, so much change. Regina realized that change was the thing she feared. Not a red jacket in her closet. She started unpacking Emma's stuff. In this way she felt in control of the change, not just a subject who watched it happen.

A small feeling of happiness filled her as she saw Emma's clothes hanging besides hers. It was like they finally melted together, that they finally were one. That they finally was on the same side.

Afterwards Regina went downstairs and unpacked the other boxes. It was dark outside when she finished, and the clock showed 3.24. Regina went upstairs and laid down in the bed. She looked to the side ment for Emma.

Regina was mad at herself. Why couldn't she just be easy with this stuff like Emma? Emma was simple, she was direct. Except from when she was wearing that red jacket, her armor. Then she closed up. Regina closed her eyes and fell asleep.

——————————————

Regina had paced around the house for an hour. It was a little past 11, and she started to fear that Emma wouldn't return. That she would change her mind and not move in anyway. Then the front door opened and Regina walked fast towards it.

"Hey..." Emma said and looked at Regina with a flinch of pain. "I'm sorry." Regina said and looked down. Emma didn't say anything but kicked off her boots. Regina wanted for Emma to take off the red jacket, but she didn't.

"I know I was difficult. I'm just not good with change. But I have unpacked everything." Emma raised an eyebrow and walked upstairs without a word. Regina followed as Emma walked into the bedroom and looked into the closet.

Emma pulled of her red jacket and hung it on the last empty coat hanger. "Do you still wanna move in?" Regina said and looked at Emma with fright of the response. "Of course i will! I just have to get used to the couple-life-thing..." Emma said and hugged Regina.

Regina breathed out heavily in relief. All walls were down, all boxes empty and all was forgiven. In this moment they both felt it. The happiness. They finally felt home. They finally felt complete.


	5. I Miss You

**Memories of Home **

No curse.

Rated M for later chapters.

SwanQueen

TriggerWarning! (War and death)

**I Miss You **

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_Dear Regina._

_I wish i had brought that jacket with me, to protect me from everything around me. But I try to visualize my uniform as a stronger armor, physically and mentally. Maybe you could find something to be your armor, something to protect your feelings while I'm here. _

_I know I say it all the time, but I really miss you. Words can't explain how much. But I would run for years, swim the greatest oceans and climb the highest mountains, just to touch you. To see you. To be with you. Every morning I keep my eyes closed for a couple of minutes. Hoping that this is just a bad dream. Hoping, that when I open my eyes, you are laying right besides me, that I am home. And every morning i have to face the truth. That I still have one month to go. It just fells like an eternity. _

_The sun has to rise in the distance 30 more times. Then I leave this place. Then I go home. _

_Love you_

_Emma_

Regina whipped the tears of her checks and ran her finger over the name Emma. She thought about Emma's hand writing it and felt close to her for a second. Emma had touched this paper, she had written every word with a soft hand.

Then Regina lost the feeling. She felt Emma disappearing in the distance. She missed Emma too. She couldn't believe that she missed Emma so much, and how she had ever lived without Emma by her side.

It reminded her of the day Emma asked to move in...

——————————————

Regina and Emma had been dating for a year, and Emma stayed over more and more often. She always came with a bag with clothes and other stuff, and she always threw it right besides the bed.

One morning Regina woke up and turned around in the bed to look for Emma. Emma was sitting up in the bed looking at the bag. "Good morning..." Regina whispered and sat up besides Emma.

Emma kissed Regina on the forehead without a word, laid an arm around her and then looked at the bag again. Silence filled the room, and Regina looked up at Emma's furrowed brows. Emma pulled some air into her lungs and then said: "Wouldn't it be nice to not have to bring this bag everytime?"

Regina furrowed her brows and then said: "Well, you can have some of your clothes here. And I can buy you a toothbrush?" Regina said and awaited Emma's answer. Emma looked Regina in the eyes and smiled "Or I could move in?"

Regina looked away from Emma's gaze, and could see Emma's smile fading in the corner of her eye. "I don't know if we are ready..." Regina said and looked down at her hands. "We have been doing this for a year..." Emma said.

"Regina, I'm tired of being a visitor in your life. I want to be a part of it." Emma then said and looked at the bag again. Regina looket up at Emma again. "Emma, you are not a visitor in my life. You are already a part of it." Regina said and smiled while Emma furrowed her brows.

"Why do I feel like a visitor then?" Emma said, and Regina failed to answer that question. "What are you afraid of?" Emma asked and starred into the deep dark brown eyes. "It's just a lot of... commitment..." Regina said and tried to find understanding in the green eyes.

"Regina, we already have a lot of commitment, this is nothing compared to that. We have been together for a year now. We are raising a child together. Don't you think Henry would be happy to have one home with both of his parents?"

Emma eyes was yearning for Regina to understand. "I don't know." Regina said with a pained face while she shook her head. She pushed Emma's arm of her and got up. She left the room with Emma's eyes starring after her.

Regina walked down into the kitchen and opened the fridge. She starred into it before closing it and staring into the air. "Don't you want to be with me?" Emma asked in an accusing tone that almost made Regina jump.

She hadn't noticed the blonde entering the kitchen and she now tried to avoid the sharp green eyes. "Of course I want to be with you." Regina said in a low voice. Emma grabbed Regina by the shoulders and forced their eyes to meet.

"Then tell me why you don't want me to move in." Regina's eyes started watering and she furrowed her brows. "Because i am afraid of you getting closer. That I reach the point where I can't live without you. And that maybe one day you will leave. And I will still be here, alone and heartbroken..."

Emma gave a reassuring smile and whipped away a tear from Regina's cheek. "I'm never gonna leave you Regina. But you have to let me in. Love is scary, I know, but I know in my heart that you are the one. My only one."

Regina pulled Emma into a hug and let the tears flow. "Let me in, and I will never leave." Emma promised. Regina pulled out of the hug and nodded. She smiled in deep contrast to the tears running down her face. "Okay." She said with a cracking voice. They smiled at each other and felt the love strong in them.


	6. Henry

**Memories of Home**

No curse.

Rated M for later chapters.

SwanQueen

TriggerWarning! (War and death)

**Henry**

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_Dear Regina._

_I know I just send you a letter, and you haven't had the chance to reply, but something happened today, and I need to tell you about it. It was like the sun shined for a moment in the darkest place. _

_We had to look for survivors in a burned down village. It's a horrible job. A boy ran up to me and showed me to his mother who was wounded. I did what I could right on the spot and it probably saved her life._

_The boy came up to me with a smile today. Something that surprised me, since he had just experienced such a traumatic experience. He said "Thank you" in very bad English, and gave me the white and purple bracelet he was wearing. I think he made it himself. _

_He reminded me so much of Henry, and I cried for hours afterwards. Just like Henry, he was strong, kind, and didn't let life throw him down. But most importantly, it reminded me of what Henry always tell me. To have hope. It's such an important thing, and I need it in my darkest hours. So, let the two of us have hope. Hope that the days will fly by, hope that we can be strong, hope that we soon are back to normal life. _

_I love you._

_Emma _

Regina laid the letter down with the others. She had only had one day to take in the other letter before this showed up. Regina breathed in and felt Emma's hope, as if it was evaporating from the letter, and that Regina could inhale it.

She thought of how lucky she was having Henry through this. But it pained her that Emma didn't. That the closest she had to him was a stranger.

It reminded Regina of the day they told Henry about them...

——————————————

Emma and Regina was standing in Regina's office. They both glanced at the clock a couple of times through their conversation, seeing that the moment was near. They were both nervous.

"How do you think he will respond?" Emma asked Regina who looked out of the window. "I don't know. He will probably be confused. One moment we fight, the next we kiss. I just hope that he doesn't channel that confusion into hate."

"Do you think he will hate us?" Emma said with a terrified look. "No, me. You are the fun mom. I am the one who grounds him, makes him eat healthy, and keeps his nose in the books..." Regina said and brushed some of her hair behind her ear.

"Hey, he loves us equally. He couldn't choose between us. Yes I am his blood. But you were his whole life till I jumped in. He will never hate you." Emma said and laid a soft reassuring hand on Regina's arm.

Regina smiled and nodded. "Well, I'm going to Granny's to pick up some hot chocolates before I pick him up. Want anything?" Regina nodded. "Coffee. Very strong Coffee." She said and Emma nodded before she left.

She picked up the hot drinks and then Henry. She barely said the sentence: "We need to talk the three of us..." before Henry was asking a lot of questions, but Emma didn't answer them.

Then they all gathered and sat down in the office. "So, what's going on?" Henry said and sipped his hot chocolate. Emma looked at Regina who seemed pale and terrified. Emma realized that she was the one who would have to tell Henry.

"Your mom and I... We are very different, but sometimes that can be a good thing... uhm..." Emma started and looked at Henry's face with became more and more confused. Regina inhaled deeply and then dropped the bomb. "Emma and I are together. Or we are dating. Whatever you call it."

It was like time froze. Fear running through the two women, fear of the reaction. They looked at each other while taking a deep breath together. Then Henry got up, and with an over enthusiastic voice he said: "That's great!!"

Emma smiled at Regina and laughed in relief. "Then we are like a real family!" He said. He threw himself at the two women, and brought them all together in a hug. Henry pulled out of the hug and turned to Emma.

"So when are you moving in?" He asked and Emma glanced at Regina for help. "We are going to take it slow Henry. We will wait a little before Emma moves in, but she will be around the house a lot."

Henry smiled and sat back in his seat with his hot chocolate. Regina and Emma couldn't believe it, this was best case scenario. Their boy was such a strong human being, always seeking the positive in every twist of his life. They couldn't wait to watch him grow up together.


	7. Love and War

**Memories of Home **

No curse.

Rated M for a reason.

SwanQueen

TriggerWarning! (War and death)

**Love and War**

——————————————

_Dear Emma._

_Thank you for your letters. I'm happy that you don't just see death and destruction, but also happiness, even though it isn't your own. I know Henry misses you a lot too. You and I are such different people, and I can never fill the role of you. I can't wait till you are here again, by my side, helping me raise Henry to the great man he will one day become. _

_Last night I drank a bottle of wine. Alone. It was some cheap brand and it tasted horrible but I didn't care. _

_Don't worry, I'm not turning into an alcoholic, it's the first time I have been drinking since you left. It wasn't the same without you. _

_But it took me down memory lane. Thinking about all the times we opened a bottle of wine after a hard day, and talked and laughed like two stupid teenagers. People ask me if I want to go out, forget all problems and lay my self under the alcohol-veil. But I don't. Only with you. People try make me smile, try to bring me joy, but I don't need it. All I need is for time to fly, and you to be here. Only 16 times does the sun has to rise before that happens. _

_Love you_

_Regina. _

Emma folded the letter and laid in the pile of others. She couldn't wait for this hell to be over too. To see Regina and Henry, to hug them, to just be there. Emma thought it was funny, Regina had an expensive taste in wine, and normally didn't even swallow the cheap ones.

It reminded Emma of the day they fell in love...

——————————————

Emma and Regina has been fighting for a month now. They had fought about who was Henry's real mother, and it had escalated badly, hurting Henry. So Emma decided that it had to end.

She found herself knocking on Regina's door late at night. It was weird, she felt kind of nervous, not knowing why. The door open and revealed Regina, who was as always dressed to impress. She was wearing a blue tight dress and gold earrings.

Regina looked at Emma with a hateful look. Her arm looked looked like it was about to slam the door, but Emma stepped up so that wouldn't happen. "Regina, we need to talk." Emma said with a serious tone. "Do we?" Regina said and raised an eyebrow.

"Regina, we have to end this feud, the only one it is hurting is Henry, and neither of us want that..." Emma said and Regina nodded. She let Emma in and closed the door. Regina showed Emma to the dinning table where they sat down.

"We need to find some solution, like a calendar or something, and we can take turns with having Henry..." Emma said but Regina just shook her head. "No, this is his home. You can come visit him or take him out somewhere, but he will sleep here."

Emma was about to protest when Regina continued. "You don't understand it Emma. You have family and friends in this town, all I have i Henry. It has been like that for 12 years, and I can't share him like that." Emma was a about to get angry, but then she saw the pain in Regina's eyes.

For the first time Emma did understand Regina. She was lonely, and afraid that she would lose the only one who mattered in her life. "I'm sorry. I just broke into your life, and thought I was right. But maybe you are." Emma said and Regina looked surprised.

"I'm not going to take him from you, I just want to be a part of his life." Emma continued. Regina nodded. She now felt some understanding for the blonde, which made the situation even more complicated.

Regina got up and left the room without a word. Then she returned with two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. Emma nodded in approval, as Regina poured the wine glasses half full. Then they started talking again.

Emma had taken several gulps of her wine, when Regina carefully sipped hers. Regina took a napkin and spit out the small amount of liquid. Emma furrowed her brows as Regina said: "Sorry. This cheap wine tastes like jetfuel!"

Emma started laughing. Regina furrowed her brows as Emma said: "Sorry, it's just, I'm sitting here like an idiot who can't tell if it's cheap or expensive." Regina laughed shortly at the blond. It was kind of funny.

Emma studied the small smirk on Regina's face. She had never tried Regina looking at her with a smile. It made her warm inside, she couldn't explain why.

——————————————

After hours of talking, and Emma drinking the bottle of cheap wine by herself, they got up, and Regina followed Emma to the door. Emma pulled on her jacket and turned to Regina.

Nobody said a word. They just gazed into each other's eyes. It felt weird but they both held the gaze. "Why do I want to kiss you?" Emma whispered almost without moving her lips.

The gaze was held as Regina whispered: "I don't know." Emma blinked slowly and then starred even further into the brown eyes. "Would you be mad if I did?" Emma whispered and Regina answered: "I think so."

That didn't scare Emma though. It was like Regina's and her body where magnets. Emma leaned forward and softly kissed her. Regina kissed back, and soon Emma's hand was wrapped around Regina's small waist.

Regina placed her hands on Emma's shoulders. Everything felt like a haze, like this couldn't be real. The kiss evolved and soon Emma was laying on top on Regina, both naked, in Regina's bed.

Emma let her hands travel up and down Regina's beautiful body, started to kiss Regina with more hunger. Emma cupped Regina's breast and massaged them softly, as she broke the kiss, and started kissing Regina's neck.

Emma wondered how long it had been since Regina had been having sex. Had she even had sex with a woman before? Emma had always known she was bisexual, and she had been with a couple of women, but none as magnificent as Regina.

Emma kissed her way down Regina, and soon a hard nipple was in Emma's mouth. Regina exhaled deeply in satisfaction. Emma sucked Regina's nipple lightly, and let her tongue dance with it. Then she moved herself slowly down between Regina's legs.

Emma looked at Regina's sex. It was beautiful. Glistening with Regina's juices. Emma ran her tongue and tasted her sweetness. Emma started licking slowly over Regina's clit, and could feel her body wanting more.

So Emma started sucking it, licking more heavily, before her finger found Regina's opening. She pushed her finger slowly inside and curled to hit the spot. Regina was tight, but her juices helped Emma move back and forth.

Emma kept licking and thrusting into Regina with one finger. Emma dared to add another finger, and Regina started to whimper and moan for more. Emma gave everything she had. Thrusted as fast and hard as humanly possible and licked Regina's clit greedily.

Regina's body tensed up as she cried out and cramped around Emma's fingers. Emma slowed down the pace, and let Regina ride out her orgasm. Emma then slowly pulled her fingers out and licked them clean to get a last taste of Regina.

"Wow... I've never tried anything like that..." Regina said and exhaled deeply with a smile. "Are you a virgin?" Emma laughed, but stopped when Regina furrowed her brows. "No. But I've never been with a woman before..."

Emma was kind of honored to be Regina's first woman lover. Or what they was. Emma hoped that this wasn't just a one night thing. Not just the sex, but talking deeply with Regina, being around her. Emma really enjoyed it.

Emma wasn't sure how Regina felt, but had a feeling that she wanted more to. Regina laid herself into Emma's arms, and she feel asleep. Emma starred into the white ceiling. Wondering.

Wondering if they wouldn't have to fight over Henry anymore. Maybe they could be together all three of them. Like a family. Maybe this was a beginning of something amazing. Maybe not. But Emma hoped it would be.


	8. Mothers

**Memories of Home**

No curse.

SwanQueen

TriggerWarning! (War and death)

**Mothers**

——————————————

_Dear Regina._

_My time here is almost up! When I write this letter we only need to see the sun rise 6 more times before I'm home again. I can't wait. _

_We had to search the village today, we thought some bad guys were hiding there. I walked into a house where a mother was sitting with her two children. The youngest looked sick laying pale and confused in her bed. I walked over to her and laid a hand on her forehead. She was boiling hot. The next thing I know is the mother jumping at me, pushing me down and yelling something I didn't understand. She tried to punch me but I pushed her of and left the house. _

_I later found out the woman was just an overprotective mother. She thought I would hurt her daughter, or take her with me. _

_I wasn't even mad at her. I get it, she was just trying to protect her family. But I got a bruise on my cheek from the fall, I hope it disappears before I come home. _

_Don't worry about the wine-thing, I will soon be there, drinking wine with you and make all pain disappear. _

_Love you_

_Emma. _

Regina folded the letter and tried to visualize Emma in her mind. It was like she could see Emma's quirky smile and her worried eyes as she checked up on the kid.

She couldn't believe Emma had been tackled by a local. But Emma knew how to handle protective mothers. Regina had experienced it herself.

It reminded her of the day they meet...

——————————————

Henry had run of. Regina was talking with the town sheriff and she was worried out of her mind. It was already dark outside when it knocked on the door. Regina ran outside and hugged her son who was before her.

"Henry! Are you okay? Where have you been? What happened?" She asked as Henry pushed himself out of the hug. "I found my real mom!" Henry yelled and ran inside.

Regina looked up at the blonde woman. She looked her up and down like a boxer checking out its opponent. "You're Henry's birthmother?" Regina said with a slight defeat in her voice. "Hi..." Emma said and shrugged her shoulders.

The sheriff went inside to check up on the Henry, leaving the two women alone. Emma was about to say something, but Regina didn't let her. "Listen, you can't give up a boy in a closed adoption, ghost him for 10 years and then just take him!"

Emma nodded and said: "I didn't take him... he found me. I'm just here to bring him home." Regina nodded but didn't let her guard down. "You are never going to be a part of his life. I will see to that." Regina said and turned around.

Regina started walking inside as Emma yelled after her: "I didn't plan to you know." Regina didn't even look back as she slammed the door and left Emma alone in her driveway.

Emma saw Henry in his window. He was starring right at her as she turned around and got into her yellow bug. She turned the engine on and started driving. Halfway down main street she stopped and pulled over.

Something about this town felt like home. Something about Henry felt so right. And Regina being so overprotective and mean made Emma want to stay. Emma saw a bed and breakfast at the corner of the street.

Maybe she should stay for a couple of nights. She would probably never see her son again, maybe she should talk to him. Tell him where he came from, explain why she couldn't be a mother. Maybe it would give him some peace.

She felt like she owed him that. Owed herself that. She would never have children or a family life herself, maybe she could just taste it for a couple of days, then let it go.

It was like a strong force kept her there. This town she had never seen before felt like home. It was weird. Emma didn't feel at home anywhere, and this place to be the first was strange.

But Emma liked the feeling. She got out of the car and checked into the bed and breakfast. Even though she only planned to stay for a couple of days, Emma felt like this was the beginning of something. She couldn't tell what, but it felt right.


	9. One day

**Memories of Home **

No curse.

SwanQueen

TriggerWarning! (War and death)

**One day**

——————————————

One day left. Regina was ready for Emma to come home, and she had been cleaning the house for hours now. It needed to be perfect, and she couldn't believe that Emma would stand right before her tomorrow.

Then it knocked on the door. Regina was not expecting anyone, and she furrowed her brows as she walked to the door and opened it. Two men in formal army wear was standing outside. They had taken of their hats off and held them in front of the stomachs.

Regina didn't want to comprehend what was going on. It was like she deep inside knew what was happening, but she refused to believe it. She got dizzy. One of the men said: "We are very sorry Mrs. Swan-Mills..." Regina only heard that before she zoned out.

She looked at the men, but didn't hear anything. She knew what they were saying and she couldn't grasp it in her mind. She stepped back and slammed the door. She starred at the wooden door. Studied the unique details of the wood. Trying to leave her body and forget everything.

But then it hit her. She feel to her knees with tears running down her face as she sobbed. She didn't know what to do with herself. She didn't want to exist. She felt like time stood still. That nothing would ever matter again.

Henry had heard the crying and came running down to his mother who was sitting defeated on the cold floor. "Mom?" He said, but could see she wasn't able to say anything. So he sat down and hugged her tightly.

Regina was happy to have her son to comfort her. She was so pained. And even more pained that she would have to tell her son that Emma would never come home. That nothing would ever be the same again.

Regina felt like she wasn't real. That nothing was real. They could have been sitting there on the floor for hours, or a second. Regina finally got herself enough together to say something.

"She's gone..." she whispered. Henry didn't need to hear more. He broke down and started crying uncontrollably. Regina held the back of his head as she held him tightly in her arms.

——————————————

A day had passed since the news when Regina discovered a box on the porch. She walked out and kneeled down besides it. On it was a note.

"We are terribly sorry for your loss. We have brought Emma's belongings back in this box. We would like it if we could attend her funeral as she was a good soldier and friend. We will call you when she has been transported home."

Regina picked up the box and took it with her inside. She placed it on the kitchen counter and opened it carefully. The first thing she saw was the book they had given her for her birthday. The Ugly Duckling.

Regina's started crying again as she whispered. "I had hope Emma. I really had hope. I don't know what to do now." She carefully took the book out of the box. The next thing she picked up was the photo album.

Regina couldn't even open it. She sank to her knees again and cried. All of the memories of Emma flowing through her mind. It reminded Regina that I was now all she had. That she wouldn't ever have the chance to make new memories with her, or even say goodbye.


	10. Home

**Memories of Home **

No curse.

SwanQueen

TriggerWarning! (War and death)

This will be the last chapter.

**Home**

——————————————

Regina hadn't help plan the funeral. She had left it all to Emma's parents. It was like the funeral made it real. That Regina could avoid reality if she didn't talk about it. But now she only had 18 hours before Emma's body was laid to rest.

It knocked on the door, and it brought Regina right back to the day she received the life changing and horrible news, but she snapped out of it and opened the door. It was the paperboy who stood with the daily paper in his hand.

"Hey, uhm your mailbox is full. You should probably empty it." He said and handed Regina the paper. Regina took it and nodded. She stood there till he had left and then walked to the end of the driveway.

She opened the mailbox and took the stack of paper out of it. She walked inside and threw it on the dinning table when a small envelope fell out from the stacks of newspaper. On the white paper it said: "For Regina." In Emma's handwriting.

Regina was confused but then realized that whatever was written inside would be the last she would ever hear from Emma. Regina couldn't open it. She would like to have it there, unopened, so she would always have the possibility of hearing from Emma again.

But then Regina felt the need of reading it. She needed to at least see what it was before she said goodbye at the funeral. She opened it careful and took out the letter.

_Dear Regina _

_It's finally almost time! I have one mission left to go, then I will be on the plane right back to you. It's funny to think that I will probably arrive home before this letter, right?_

_I've only seen the negative in this journey till now, but now I can see the good sides._

_Not just helping my country or the people here, but also that our love is stronger than time and country borders. That our love is true, and for everyday I have been gone I feel that I love you a thousand times more. Our love is like the ugly duckling. The ugliest and most hopeless start, but it ended up being the most beautiful swan. The truest of love. _

_I can't wait to see you and Henry, my home. Because that is what the two of you are. My home. It's where my heart is, and were I long for when I'm away. _

_I hope we don't have to do this ever again. Our long is strong enough to survive through things like this, but it has been a hell. A hell that is soon over. _

_Love you _

_Emma _

Regina's hands was shaking and tears were running like rivers down her cheeks. Seeing Emma's thoughts, her thoughts about coming home was unbearable when Regina knew it never happened.

But at least Emma was happy. She didn't die miserable. Regina held the letter tightly into her chest. It was like she could feel Emma's last drops of love traveling into her heart.

——————————————

It had been raining all day. Regina was standing with an arm around Henry and an umbrella. She looked as the big wooden coffin covered with an American flag was lowered into the ground.

She blinked slowly as her breath shook. She held Henry even tighter as she could hear him sobbing, but she didn't lift her gaze from the coffin. When it was down people stepped up with red roses and threw them in.

Henry was the last one to do it before everyone looked at Regina, waiting for her to throw her rose in. She stepped up with a white rose, Emma's favorite. She studied it before she let it fall down on the casket. Before she stepped back she took a letter out of her pocket.

On it was written "Emma". She threw it down before she took the shovel and let the first dirt fall down onto the coffin. Then she stepped back and watched everyone do the same. Then people left. Regina was just starring the tombstone. Alone in the pouring rain, thinking about the words she had written as a last goodbye.

——————————————

_Dear Emma. _

_You will never read this. But I hope that somehow these words will get to you. _

_My love for you will never fade. We didn't get much time, and I'm mad about that. I thought we would grow old together, but sometimes fate is cruel. _

_In a short time you went from being an enemy to being my whole life. And I feel like a part of me died with you. _

_I'm so scared. Scared of how I'm going to live without you, scared to raise our son without you, scared that the pain will never fade._

_I miss you so much. And the thought of you being gone forever kills me. But I will stay strong for Henry. He is already staying strong for me. He has you kindness, your strength. He has a piece of you inside, and it's the only thing right now that brings me joy. _

_I just can't grasp the thought of him growing up without you. You were suppose to be here, but you were taken away. _

_But if I could turn back the clock I wouldn't have gone a different path. I would still have married you, loved you, shared every moment with you. Even though my love for you now brings me pain, I would never have traded our time together for anything. Because those were the best years of my life. My best moments I spent with you. _

_The only wish I have is that you find the peace you deserve. _

_You will always be in my heart. _

_Regina._


End file.
